Stephanie Talks: The Weight Issue...

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Hello my lovelies
I have decided to do a post that could actually go very wrong, but I am hoping that doesn't turn out to be the case. This is something I seem to moan about, and is one of the main things on my mind, so I thought it was time to get my confused thoughts out there & get your comments on the issue too.......

If you follow me on Twitter you'll know that I do like to say a few words on how I'm looking in the weight department, but then the next minute I will be talking about eating my body weight in cheese or chocolate! It is no secret of mine that over the last 2 years or so I have put on a silly amount of weight, now this does not mean I am fat, after all- what is fat?! However I have gained a lot of weight, and it's weight that I don't feel happy or comfortable with, and I think this is the main point I want to address.
When I first started gaining a few lbs here & there, I wasn't too bothered and carried on as the normal 'me'. I think the main problem I had was not being able to fit into my (I thought) gorgeous clothes, and this was something that really got to me. The lbs turned into stone though, and now it's just seems constant. There is no battle as I am not motivated to do anything about it- yet I really want to be.
This is what annoys me, I moan A LOT about how I look, and what size I am, yet I am doing sweet FA about it. Does this mean that I am actually happy in the size I am, or am I just that lazy. I'm thinking the latter. 
Now I am not saying being a size 18, 20 or even bigger is a bad thing, but I think you need to be happy in your own skin. I am not happy at the moment, so I know I either have to sort it out- lose the blubber & get on with it OR I need to accept myself as a size 16-18. Accepting myself is hard though, going from a size 10 with a gorgeous gap in the middle of your legs, to a size 16 with your thighs rubbing together, in a flash of time, is hard! When I was a size 10, I never wanted to be skinnier though, I was happy! I had my 'morning belly' which I loved, and wished it would stay throughout the day, but all in all I was never the type of person that would never be happy with them self, as looking back on it- I was. 

I also appreciate about being too skinny, or not having a lot of weight on you,can also be a big deal to some people, and having two different sides of the perspective is hard to get your head around. 'Why are you so upset about being a size 6? I'd love to be' but I'm sure the thinner girl MAY be thinking that she needs to chub up a bit. 
I don't understand how our minds work, I am yet to discover how mine works fully, let a lone everyone around me. But if anything, I just think it's important to be happy. Don't strive for something stupid, but be yourself in the body you are happy with. I'm 5ft11 so being 7 stone is never going to be healthy or right for me, I need to realise that, and if I am serious about losing weight, I need to figure out something that works for me, that I can stick to, have time for, and that doesn't make me depressed! & I really think I need a kick up the ass and to start doing that
I also think that it's important to realise that being 'skinny', or bigger for that matter,doesn't make you any more or less pretty or a better person. I think being confident and letting that shine through comes across a lot more than a size 'zero' model. I love outfit of the days, I love clothes & seeing how people put an outfit together, but just because some one is smaller than the next doesn't mean I will follow their blog or subscribe to their videos. I like some one who can dress for their own size, is happy with what they are wearing & takes that photo of the outfit, and is proud of how they look. 

I think this has been a pretty rambled talk, but it's something that I think concerns a lot of people in a lot of different ways- so I was really eager to give the post a bash.
I am very open to your comments and thoughts on the situation, not only about me and how I feel about my weight, but you and 'weight' in general. Do you think the 'prefect skinny' model, comes from the media? Does she even exist? Do you honestly think losing a stone will make you happy?
I'd just like to point out that I'm not getting at anyone in this post either, expect for myself, I just think it's something that comes up time & time again- so come on ladies, get it all out 

I look forward to hearing your feedback


  1. Such an important post Stephy. I love it.
    When we first met I was a size 6 and my clothes hung off me. I'm not a size 14 - 16 and finally have boobs to fill a top. Yet I am still not happy. I think we all want that "perfect" body that in reality doesn't actually exist.

  2. Well Steph, I agree with you that you have to be happy with yourself. I was a size 18-20 and had severe back problems and also a mum how died very young from heart problems. So I decided lets stop pretending you're happy as you are and lose the weight, I've now lost 4 stones, with 1 stone left to lose and do feel much happier as a 12-14. My back problems are so much better and I feel happier in myself. Yes it's been damn hard and boring at times but I wanted to do it for me, and that is the only way to do it. If your happy then great, if you're not prepare yourself for a strict diet and gym going after christmas. If you want to do it, you can do it. We'll all support you.

    Have a fab christmas first tho.

    Jo x

  3. Great post gorgeous. Like the above person stated there is no 'perfect' body. It doesn't exist. For me, I'm a size 10, an hourglass and I will never ever be a Kate Moss, but I love my figure and as long as I'm healthy, I really don't mind. I never ever weigh myself, it just doesn't bother me.


  4. I've never been thin in my life. I'm a size 16 now and I don't particularly like it but I think it's how I'm meant to be - dieting and exercise don't seem to do anything, unfortunately. xx

  5. Humph dunno why I came up as a dot lol. Its meeeeeeee.

  6. This is a great post!
    I can relate 100%

    I got to size 16/18 i didn't feel like me at all, and so now im doing something about it. Slowly but im getting there.
    I think everyone gets to that point where they will turn it around and do something about what makes them so unhappy. Im doing weight watchers, and i've found it to be so enjoyable. I would deff recommend it :) xo

  7. Firstly I loved this post. I think your weight is one of the biggest things us girls worry about. There is sooo much pressure in the media to look a certain way we loose track of the things that really matter in a person.
    I use to be a lot thinner than what I am now but that was down to my ex. He use to tell me if i was to get above a size 10 he would finish with me because he didnt want to be with a "fat" girl and I was silly enough to stay with him even though I now know he was a total D**K.
    I have put on a bit more weight than what im comfortable with this past year since ive been living with my fiance because we can eat what we want when we want and it is now getting me down, but like you i just moan about it and dont have the motivation to do anything about it i would rather sit and eat a kebab lol
    Maybe that will be my new years resolution get trim and in shape to make me happy screw what anyone else thinks. I have a man who loves me for me size 8 or 28. I want to be happy in my skin for me.

  8. Such a good post Steph :)

    I completely agree with you, all that really matters when it comes to weight is how YOU feel about yourself. To be honest, I don't really believe in weighing myself because I know for a fact doing it won't make me feel any better. I can be a size 12 and feel like a size 8, and vice versa. My weight is something that I have always struggled with, be it being too small or too big, but I know from experience that even if you think being a tiny size six will make you happy, it won't. Ultimately it's down to who you are as a person that makes you happy, and although it might feel great to lose a few pounds, I think it's important to remember not to become obsessed with it, as at the end of the day it can become really unhealthy. I think with the Christmas season coming up, it's really important not to worry too much about what you eat, or how much you exercise, but to enjoy living your life! I remember days when I used to spend all my time calorie counting - that is no way to live! Ultimately I just think you have to do what makes you happy :)

    Sorry for the essay, it's something I feel extremely strongly about lol! xx

  9. I'm a size 16/18 and I used to think about being skinnier but then it came to me, how would my life be improved if I was slimmer? It wouldn't! I don't exercise, and I'm a lover of good food but I'm happy! My boyfriend thinks I'm gorgeous and people are never short of compliments when they see me. Sure sometimes I wish I could wear that uber short cute dress or something that isn't low necked but then I think - I'd look like everyone else! I know if I lose weight I'd just put it on because I love to eat out, I love going for tea and cupcakes. I don't think I look *that* bad either. Sorry for the ramble x

  10. Great post steph! I agree that it's all about being happy with the size you are, not about that number being as small as possible! I am lucky in that my weight only really fluctuates by about half a stone. However I do think that just because I am a size 8-10 it doesn't necessarily mean that I am healthy, as I do eat far too many bad things. I never think twice about what i'm putting in my mouth, and I like this fact. I would never think 'oh I won't eat that cake because I already had one today' (and I know I am lucky in being able to not worry about stuff like that). But I think in the new year I should think slightly more about what i'm putting into my body, if only for health/energy reasons. I am currently helping my mum with her mission through Slimming World though, as she had become very unhappy with her weight and it was affecting her health.
    I think you always look absolutely gorgeous in your outfit posts! Like you said, I don't follow people's blogs just because they are the skinniest or the prettiest!

    Sorry for the long rambley essay, hope it made sense! xxx

  11. This was a really interesting post to read, along with the comments. I've always struggled with my weight as I'm not someone who is naturally thin. I'm sad to say that when I was a size 16/18 I was incredibly depressed. I seriously wanted to kill myself. So I went to the gym every week, got down to a size 10, weighed 9 stone and was finally happy with the way I looked. I gained more confidence and made loads of friends for the first time in my life.

    Then I got pregnant. 8 months after giving birth I'm back to 10st 6lbs. Despite being a size 10/12 and being able to fit back into the majority of my old clothes, I've regressed and become really depressed about the way I look again. I think its because weighing 9st was such a great achievement for me and I won't be happy again until I'm back to that weight or lower. Of course its hard to find time for the gym now that I have a baby to look after and having a boyfriend who likes to eat more crap than anyone doesn't help either! So for me weight loss is the key to happiness. I know deep in my heart that I will be happy when I get to my goal weight because it will give me my confidence back too.

    I don't judge anyone who weighs more than me or think they're ugly or anything like that. Its just that being thin is the only way that I personally am happy. Thats the most important thing, no matter what size you are :)

  12. I love my morning tummy :)
    Its so sad when it turns to chub ha.

    I'm a size 10 at the moment..which is big for me..

    I know its not big, but for my frame, and height..and my weight goes on my face, stomach, legs..I feel and look too big.
    But my weight also yo-yo's a lot, what you gonna do! I love cake :)

    I'm too scared to exercise also, i'm one of those people that becomes obsessed! I used to workout 2/3 hours a day..250 sit ups morning and night..only eat tomato soup, dry chicken with veg and the point I would only consume 500 calories a day.

    None of it is healthy! I'm starting to think moderation is key! Its ok to indulge..but you know when you should stop, really!

    :) x

  13. I think everyone will always see another person and wish they had their body, but as cheesy as it is, we are all different so we need to come to terms with it!
    I'm a size 10/12 and i'm not happy with my size, i'm not ashamed to say that I think this is becasue of the media and the fact that the majority of my friendsa re a lot smaller than me. I think being comfortable with your weight starts at being comfortable with your personality, and the fact that you are never going to be the same as those around you.

    Let me know if i can help in anyway :/ I hope it gets better soon! x

  14. this is a great post! people need to be comfortable and happy and confident with themselves (I can't talk because I'm not, at all!)

    Morning belly? Morning time is when I'm flat and empty lol

    I'm totally like u, I always want to change things but just can never be bothered to do it. Maybe ask Vic and Lily how they got started? I think once you start you would have broken down the wall and it wont seem so hard. You might even enjoy the healthier stuff. (I've just had food from the chip shop and 2 beers so feel really bad talking about that lol) xxx

  15. Faces the same situation too :(,sometimes the weight is the factor they discriminate or bully :(. too bad. Lost confidence because of weight :( .Thanks GOD he is fair . He give me extra weight but he gave me others good and kind bonus :). Well i'm trying too lose some weight . I don't want those ppl discriminate me anymore . I want they regret .

  16. I absolutely love the photo with the dessert and loving it more than being skinny- that is EXACTLY my motto- you only live one life and you might as well eat how you want. That is my philosophy, although some people think that not eating and being skinny makes them more happy--now does it really? I don't think so. I know that as long as you are healthy and happy with yourself, that you should eat what you want, etc.

    I think that losing weight/ getting healthy is great, but always know that you should only do you should do what makes you happy, not what others think about you-- :)

    lovely post!

  17. Such a beautiful & inspirtational post! Your totally right, you should be happy in your own skin and that is all that matters. And i love the picture of the scales, the words 'you are more important than this number' is ever so true!

  18. Great blog post! I personally believe that people should take more notice of their BMI than their weight. I think that as long as anyone is in the 'healthy' range then a few lbs here and there to loose or gain is totally up to them and a matter of opinion. But if you are classed as overweight or obese then it's not really down to how you feel about your body image in the mirror but that you should lose weight for medical reasons, and the same for being underweight. I always go on my BMI and would never aim to lose anymore weight than would be healthy. I totally get what you mean about motivation, it can be such a hard thing to gain. I just think more people should start off being realistic and aiming for their bang on ideal/healthy weights according to their BMI rather than striving to look like a skinny size 6 model which for the most of us is completely unrealistic. Ah what a ramble haha!

  19. I think most girls (or people) know exactly how you feel. Sometimes it's SO HARD to be perfectly satisfied with yourself yet sometimes we're too lazy (me) to do anything about it! I've been on both ends of the scale. Some days, I feel perfectly fine but my parents always nag me about being too big! When my mom was younger, she was 80-90 lbs at my age and 5' tall, which I personally don't think is healthy but that's how she was.. so SHE thinks that how much short people must weigh. On the other hand, my boyfriend often thinks I'm too thin as I have been losing a lot of weight lately due to stress. It's just weird because some days I feel fine and other days I don't. It's these hormones -I can't even decide what to feel!

    I think you look beautiful just the way you are right now but if you personally wanted to lose weight, that's great for you! I personally want to become more healthy.. not so much for looks but because I think it's my eating and excercising habits are terrible at the moment.

    I think you're so right -it's about being confident and comfortable in your own skin. My mind is so indecisive though -some days I am and othe days I'm not. =P

    Sorry for the rant!

  20. If it wasn't for the heavy influence we intake from the media daily I don't think weight would be half as much as an issue as it is. It all depends on your upbringing and culture, I mean, consider the many people in other society's who believe having a fuller figure represents beauty and wealth. But (unfortunately) here in the West it is constantly imprinted in our brains that being larger means that you are lazy and perhaps not as good a person as someone who is slim. Perhaps that explains the radical changes in girls feelings about their weight - in yourself you may be generally indifferent about your weight, until.. I don't know, the Marks and Spencer advert comes on with the pretty size 6 jumping around in her underwear. Anyway, I think that we are drowned in these cynical views about weight so often that we forget that we are individuals and that individuality shouldn't be forbidden but embraced!
    Great post by the way! xX

  21. Good post dear, I dont think losing a stone would solely make someone happy. I think if you feel uncomfortable at a certain weight, there are ways to easily address that and lose it. I think there are positives to eating and drinking what you want and not worrying about calorie counting and the way you feel after you can fit in to an old pair of jeans. For me, nothing tastes as good as losing weight feels, but i guess i just need the willpower to sustain that:S I think you are beautiful, if you can still look good in dresses and skirts than there is nothing to worry about. And if anyone has seen steph in real life they wouldnt believe in hell she was a size 16!

  22. Great post! I am a size 10/12 however I wish I was a size 8/10, I know that what I am now is perfectly fine however I don't feel comofrtable in my body. I definitely need to start exercising as much as I don't want to! Good luck with everything Steph(:,xxx

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  24. I used to be a size 10 even an 8 at one stage and now I am a 10-12 edging more towards a 12.

    I have always been busty even when I was an 8. Its odd but I find more men notice me as a 10-12 then they did when I was a 8. I do feel the majority of men prefer curves on a woman.

    I feel cr*p at my weight, I feel massive (and I know a 10-12 is not massive) but it really affects me.

    I know if I was a stone lighter I would be so happy.
    Having said that when I was an 8 I thought I was I could not win!
    Maybe its all in my head.

    I would not have thought you were a 16-18 you don't look it!

  25. What a great post, so proud of you Steph. Ok here I go...All my life I've been quite slim, when I was younger I was super slim, but was I? Like I was really close to my cousin and she was a bigger girl, always has been (compared to me might I add, not saying she was big) But my aunty would always say, urgh you are so skinny, eat some friggin food, look how skinny you are, and it's like hold on, just because you and your daughter aren't thinner, don't take it out on an 8 year old girl, who quite obviously has a high metabolism, it used to do my head in. Then last year I worked for their company, and my cousin was dieting, she did so well, cause she was like a size 20, and she wasn't happy at all, so she started eating better, not less, she'd cut out going to greggs for lunch and instead make her own soups, or meals, and she started doing two classes a week at the gym, and now she is a size 14, and she is much happier, I think like you say it's a personal thing, how you feel within yourself. When I was with my ex, he mentally abused me so much I dropped about two stone, and for someone who is 5'9/10 that isn't great, in my opinion, I was like a size 8 and my cheeks caved in, I looked like a crackhead, for real, my family said I looked ill. Now I'm with Dale, I'm a comfortable size 12, ok so last month when I couldn't fit into my size 12 denim hotpants I was like :( but I could still fit in to my size 12 jeans, my family always say I look a lot better with a bit of weight on me, healthier. I'm so happy in my relationship, and dale makes me so happy and confident about my body, that it diminishes those slight niggles I have about my love handles, that aren't that bad really! I think if you are un-comfortable, like my cousin was, slowly introduce a different method,as the weight won't just go away, but you have to want to do that, like with anything. I honestly look at it now and think, life's too short, I eat what I want, as long as I'm not putting my health at risk i don't care, I eat pies, and chinese food, and bags of doritos and dip ;) The only person I'm out to impress is myself, because I have to live with myself, I couldn't give a shit what that girl over the other side of the road thinks of me. Sorry for rambling xxxxx

  26. Great Post! I was a size 18-20 and I was unhappy with my weight I was the heaviest I had ever been after having my daughter. I have recently lost 5st 9.5lbs through weight wtchers and have 8.5lbs to go untill I reach goal!

    I am soooo much happy as I am, I have so much more energy to play with my 2 year old. I also managed to lose most of the weight before my wedding back in sept.

    I will never be a tiny size as it just wouldn't suit me (I am very big chested). But I would just like to be a comfortable 10-12.

    I totally agree with you that you need to find your happy medium. I never used to mind being a 14-16 but weight kept creeping on and I just got bigger. I am currenty a 12 and much prefer what I see in the mirror. For once I feel myself! If you dont feel yourslef or happy with your weight than you can do something about it, as long as it is in a sensible way!

  27. I have always struggled with my weight, and failed to grasp the concept that with being 5ft10 obviously I am going to weigh more than someone who is 5ft5 and wears the same size clothes as me.

    I thought I was happy with being a size 10-12, however being told by my doctor that I was "overweight" and I should loose some weight. Added to that my mam telling me how fat my stomach/legs were,my confidence wasn't too great. I ended up resorting to every known trick in the book to loose the weight. Did it work yes- however I looked terrible.

    To this day I still struggle with my weight and have issues about what people may/will think of me, hence posting very few pictures of me on my blog. Lately my size 12s have been getting too tight for me, so I decided to start eating healthly and doing a powerwalk on my lunch. The weight has dropped off and I feel much better for it.

    You look fab the way you are, and remember that clothes size is nothing and as long as you are happy thats all that matters.

    Hope my long ramble makes some sense and if you ever need a chat you know where I am xxxx

  28. I am exactly the same, I moan and moan about the pounds I've piled on, but I rarely do anhthing about it, I love pudding far too much!

  29. What a fantastic post hun ...

    I used to be a slim person, when i was 18 i was a size 8,i was happy with the way i looked but always wanted bigger boobs (sorry if thats to much information lol) but i met my BF and got 'comfty' i went onto the contraception injection and started eating alot of rubbish food and the weight but piled on, the first time i noticed it was when i was shopping for a pair of pants & had to get a size 10! i was shocked but still didnt do anything about it, im now a size 12 and happy, ive got the boobs ive always wanted but also got the tummy aswell which isnt a plus. My current weight is around 11stone2 give or take a few lbs and for my height which is only 5ft2 thats alot. My ideal weight that i want to hit is 10stone, but i want to be able to tone my body!

    I think that being a size 0 doesnt make you beautiful ... someone who's got a kind heart is beautiful no matter of size, so if there 6 stone or 60 stone they'll be beautiful.

    Im sat typing the post thinking about the clothes in my wardrobe & they range from a size 10 to a size 16 ... i dont think it matters what your number is aslong as your happy with yourself and that your confident!

    Sorry for the long comment!!!


  30. With me, instead of being concerned with piling on the pounds, i'm concerned that i'm not piling on the pounds. Everyday i weigh myself and hope the number goes up instead of down. About a year ago i weighed 46kg and now i weigh 40kg. (im 17)
    I get constant comments about my weight and how i'm so tiny. It's started to really upset me, and people fail to realise their comments are hurtful. People think that it is only people who weigh more that get made fun of or worry about their weight, but people who weigh less have exactly the same problem.

    But at the end of the day, i'm a short person and i've always been small. I'm happy with being small but people's constant comments make me feel like i need to put on some weight. But if i'm happy with my body, why should i? Everyone is beautiful the way they are. And weight really shouldn't be that big a deal.

    Great post:) loved reading this, and seeing everyones comments:)

  31. I've been a size 10 for as long as I can remember. However, my size 10 jeans are starting to cut into me, I have love handles and it does bother me.

    I'm not saying im fat either - but when your so used and happy they way you are its hard to accept that body changes.

    I moan about putting on weight yet I continue to eat crappy foods lol. I enjoy my food too much =)...

    I always say on a Sunday "Ok starting tomorrow im not going to snack of going to be really healthy and exercise etc..". I've yet to start this...haha

    Maybe we could all set a target and do it together?



  32. Amazing post. As someone who in the last year has been healthy, to near death and back to healthy again, I'd say that no, that stone won't make me happy. It won't change anything about how I percieve myself, only how I look. I never found the media affected my anorexia and I've always looked past what's been in the press. Beauty is irrespective of size and no model or celebrity will convince me otherwise.

  33. Great post!!
    Like you, i've gained a lot of weight this year (about 3 and half stone) and i'm heavier than i've ever been in my life. I moan about it, but i still eat.

    I don't have many pics from this year as i delete them all. I don't go out, i don't wear nice clothes. In fact i bought tons of 'fat' clothes which serve purpose but are nothing to look it. I've stopped blogging too because i can't bare to show myself or admit i've got fat in such a short space of time.
    I think its how fast its gone on thats worrying and i know i need to do something about it, but don't.

    I really like this post, i think its gonna speak to a lot of people
    If u decided after xmas u wanna do something about it then i'll be ur diet buddy if u want for support etc
    U have my twitter i think (evilblackpixie)

    I think as long as people are happy- size doesn't matter. But if u are unhappy, no amount of compliments will help and you need to do something about it, for yourself :)

    Love and hugs xxx

  34. wow what a great post steph! In my opinion, you always look really beautiful. I have watched alot of your youtube videos in the past and i always admired that you didn't seem to care if you looked a little 'rough' sorry, i couldn't think of a better word! I think you have a gorgeous body, amaaaaazing legs and your so tall! alot of girls would love to be tall, i'm short and i hate feeling short and stumpy but i kind of accept it. I think most people would feel happier if they could choose how their bodies looked, I don't think you should worry tho, you always look healty and slim to me! xxxx

  35. It's funny that you said that about the morning belly because i always wish my stomach would stay the way it was in the morning! I'm a size 10 but not happy. Not because i feel i'm fat though, i just wish i was more toned. I'm just like you though, not bothered to exercise. I think everyone will have days where they are happy and unhappy with the way they look though!

  36. Oh Steph... such a good blog post!

    The hardest person to motivate is yourself! I would love to go to the gym but I can't summon up the motivation. I don't want to lose weight, I just want to tone up. I think I'm going to start going with my friend - that way, I HAVE to go, otherwise I'd be letting her down as well as myself. Maybe you could find a gym buddy? Or find someone to join weight watchers with? Or buy a dress in your target size and keep hung on your door or something.

    Some people really suit being a size 16 rather than a size 8, do you know what I mean? I think the likes of Natalie Cassidy and Jessica Simpson are prime examples. I've always thought they look better when they aren't super skinny. I know the media have a lot to answer for when it comes to issues surrounding weight, but I really think they're starting to turn a corner now. I personally don't feel like there should be an issue unless it comes down to health.

    Obviously I know if someone puts on weight they might get a bit of a complex and become less confident with what their wearing etc but who says you should feel like that? Other people? The media? Designers? Since when did being a bigger size become "unacceptable"? It's pretty vulgar.

    I guess if you're thinking about your weight, then you are unhappy about it, but you know you're the only person that can fix it, and you know you should do it for yourself and no one else. Although if you are gonna diet or whatever, do it after xmas! ;)

    I think you look lovely just the way you are. I think you do really suit being the size you are... you don't look like a size 16 to me! But I suppose it doesn't matter how many times you hear that, if you're not comfortable with your size you're not really gonna truly believe me! Good luck with it. :)

  37. Great post Steph! I'm like you - I want to change something but I just don't have the motivation. It kind of comes in fits and starts, sometimes I'm dead determined, and then all of a sudden, BAM it's gone haha.

    I've never been on the small side, and I'm ok with that. I used to be, well I wouldn't say unhappy, but I wasn't overly comfortable with the way I looked. Then I went to uni and for the first time I was accepted for who I was. I think something just clicked really - I did feel comfortable and was happy with the way I looked and I always got compliments on how great I looked and the way I dressed.

    In my second year I decided to join a ladies' gym. Not particularly to lose weight, as I'd figured out that no matter what I did my weight never really fluctuated by any great amount, and I've never wanted to be small, I just wanted to tone up etc. Unfortunately my motivation dwindled, and I stopped going. Then things went downhill on a personal level and I just ate crap and the weight piled on until I took myself out of the negative situation. Comfort eating - not good! But does that stop me sometimes? No haha.

    In the third year of uni, things were going great, I was walking a lot, eating more healthily and I lost around a stone and a half and I felt brilliant. I don't really bother weighing myself on a regular basis. Like a lot of the other girls have said, it's just a number, and we shouldn't let it, or clothes sizes rule our lives.

    I guess at the end of the day, we all have good days, and we all have bad days. And if we're happy, healthy, and comfortable in who we are, then that's all that matters. And if that includes having a sneaky takeaway or a bar of choccy then so be it :)

    By the way you look absolutely gorgeous and I think you look great just the way you are xxx

  38. I LOVE this post because you're putting out there plainly and not saying what an ideal size is, just that you want to be happy with yourself and I totally get that. I went from being a size 10 to a size 16/18 and I'm crazy tiny so it looks terrible on me. I've been really beginning to look at things and put my life into prospect and I know I'm ready to start losing weight and being happier. I think anyone can be beautiful at any size but I'm not happy with me right now and it needs to change for real! Thank you for this post :o)

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  40. good post :)I am not too concerned with body weight and size of myself or others at the moment, I do occasionally think that my thighs need toning or my arms etc, but in general I am content with where I am. and other times I think i need to beef up but that is normal. Sometimes I see people and think they have nice legs, and otherpeople I will think to myself that they look like a female version of shrek, but never do I say it out loud, its just me being a judgemental human.

    A few years ago I was obsessed with weight, in kind of a negative way. I would do 300crunches, 300legraises, 300squats a day, its kind of sad when I think about it, my weight was about 6stone12lb or something stupid, I would weigh myself numerous times a day,it was not an eating disorder, others speculated, I think I was just unhappy at the time, and somepeople gain weight when they are unhappy some people lose it.

    I think the media is a load of b.s. with models and size, and whilst some models do look unhealthy and may be suffering with an eating disorder I do not think they should be banned from working unless it is going to have a negative effect on their health. The models just need to be their version of healthy and if weighing 125lbs and 5ft10 is correct for them I don't care and if its not then they should actively be recieving help, but still working as long as they are not going to drop dead.

    Then there is the plus sized models, which again I really don't give a toss about, but they go from 2 extremes in someways because these plus sized modes still need to be 5ft8 and above mostly and above a certain size(the size is pretty average actually) so the whole palava of representing real woman is a bunch of rubbish dressed in some nice clothes, I have never seen a magazine that is actively representing a whole spectrum of womanly sizes.

    I do not think that their is a perfect role model that applies to everyone, everyone has a different ideal of what their perfectish shape would be, and very rarely is someone ever going to be their ideal.

    Losing a stone would not make me happy, nor would gaining a stone.

    Happy-ness comes from many directions and weight is not the only one:)

  41. This is a fab post and so relevent to me at the moment. My body has totally changed in the last year from being a happy size 12-14 to being pregnant and loving my bump to now having a 2 weeks old baby and a totally different body which doesn't fit into all of my pre pregnancy clothes. I do think looking good is about confidence more then about size and i love seeing bloggers of all shapes and sizes posting.

    For what its worth i think you have a gorgeous figure x

  42. I love that post :)))))))


  43. Steph, I have seen you IRL and you are absolutely gorgeous! I would love to have long slim legs but I am a size 14 and I think I have come to a point in my life where 90% of the time, I am happy with the way I look. I obviously have days where nothing seems to go together etc but I'm sure other people do too? I think blogging has helped a lot with the way I view myself which is the opposite of what I thought would happen! Luckily my house mate and I are each others gym buddies and it has motivated me to move more and eat less but as long as my clothes fit and I am happy I try not to think about how much I weigh... It IS a very personal issue though and I think (like anything) everyone will have their own opinion on it :)

    Maria xxx

  44. I also have days that I don't care about my weight, and days where I feel like a total heifer! :( At 5ft 8" I'm taller than most of my friends, and so always feel like jolly green giant compared to them. Recently one of my closest friends went on the good old heart break diet - she is only 5ft 1" but went from being a size 12 to a size 6 in about 5 months. When we are out and about I think that I must look disgusting beside her - yet I think that she looks like a like fragile skeleton and could do with gaining some weight. We can't win! You look fantastic, I would have thought you were a 12 like me, you do not look like a 16!

  45. Hahaha I want to loose weight but not as much as I WANT A DESSERT.
    Story.Of.My.LIFE !!!!

  46. I am very happy I stumbled across your blog. I to went from a size 10 to a 14. I am not comfortable and I have a hard time with my clothe, but I am happy to a certain degree with my weight. I do not have time to work out, but I have decided to loose weight through weight watchers. I enjoyed reading your post


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